Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Girl Next Door

So, I realize I may get alot of heated comments, for doing something political but I simply can't help it. No worries, "I got my big girl panities on" ;). I am soo sick and tired of hearing about how bad the health care bill is and how hardworking Americans don't need it. How the stimulus is just bailing out bankers and buying people cars. Well my suburban friends, I am very grateful for the stimulus.

Obama's stimulus allowed me to have health care for the past five months while my husband looked for a job. We were very fortunate. We had no credit card debt, a decent savings, and he got a severance package. However, if we would have had to pay the full COBRA for the past four months of 1400$ a month, plus our plans 20% we may have gone broke. Our alternative was to insure our kids and go without insurance for ourselves. However, the stimulus package subsidized our insurance.

We are a middle class family, both of us our college educated, and we were on the brink of the millions of uninsured. I think an option for everyone is important. I don't think it is right that you pay four times more for a doctor visit if you don't have insurance than if you have BC/BS. We already pay taxes to help Special Need students get the care and education they deserve at school and we pay for grandma's social security even if she never worked. It is the right thing to do. It wouldn't be right for me to say since my kid doesn't need special help at school that I don't want my tax dollars to go to get little johnny down the street an aide. Likewise, people who never have kids go to school, still pay into the education system.

I know some people will complain that we don't have the money right now, as a country. I agree. However, when we had a huge surplus under Clinton we were too greedy to pass the bill then. I think sometimes the right thing to do, just isn't easy. No child in America should go without healthcare. If I was that close, think about all the other Americans with less oppurtunity and their children.

Sunday, September 27, 2009

Music

I am a music snob. I really need help. I usually only like obscure music, and I hate it when a band I loved forever gets played on the radio, adds a string section, and gets overproduced. . I know I need help.. and if anyone can suggest a good 12 step program..I am ready.

There is however an exception to this rule. Michael Franti and Spearhead (I had to add spearhead because I have seen him without them and he needs them). I love him and think he is the king of happiness spreading. However, his shows are not air conditioned so be prepared if you see him in the south during the summer. Recently, his Say Hey song has been getting a ton of air play. I am happy for him. I just hope he doesn't go commercial and add a string section.

I have been watching this video every morning. It keeps me grounded. Even if you have seen the video or heard the song, watch it again. You can't help but smile.

Supportive or Stupid...

It is a fine line. You decide. Today I came back from the park with the kids to see a bloody trail leading to the master bath. Some people would worry about a serial killer hiding in the house to pounce, but not me. I already knew what awaited me. There was chato covered in blood trying to stop the bleeding from the half dollar sized hole in his elbow.

The same elbow you will remember that had a smaller but significant hole in it 2 months ago, and 2 months before that had staph from an even worse bike accident. I had asked him to wear elbow pads after the second accident. When I questioned him about his promise, he explained that he hadn't planned to fall. Much like the gambling addict that spends your savings, because he doesn't plan to lose.

Most people, tell me to make him quit that he is too old for these shenanigans. However, this is the man I married. I am not sure if it is right to try and change him. To make matters worst, this was incorporated into our wedding vows. We promised to support each other in recreation. When you meet kayaking this seems like an important commitment.

I made him go get the stitches and x-rays and they cut away a bunch of dead flesh they were afraid would rot. The x-ray showed gravel the ER doctor could not remove. So he is off to an Orthopedic Surgeon tomorrow to see if he needs to have it removed. He made me promise not to tell the Dr. he was going about 30 mph when he fell. He told him he was just skating. He thinks I was being a nervous Nelly and a drama queen. I really want him around for a long time, and I am done having kids so I don't want to change any more diapers either. Where is Anne Landers or K-Mom when you need them?

Friday, September 25, 2009

Murphy's Law... and the path to Hell

Whenever, I get use to something, Bam it changes. I was all set to move, and Chato's new manager called and said not get a realtor. I guess that means we are stayin put. Musicmama is psyched, but that means my fresh start and free spirit dream is halted. Plus, we had already started the porch project in order to rent/sell the house, which I would have waited on if a move wasn't in the works.

I read this article where this woman posted all the positive things she gained from being in abusive relationship. It was inspiring because she cited being a good negotiater and being able to bob and weave as credits. Perhaps, with some perspective I will be able to do the same.

Well, it has come to my attention (by Blue momma), that this blog isn't all sunshine and rainbows. So, I took out the second paragraph of this post, because she is right. there has been snark on this blog. I won't take down the previous posts, but I wanted this to be a positive thing. I am sorry if it hasn't. I have tried to show the silver lining to the bad stuff, because life is sometimes crappy. It is how you deal with it.

Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Roots

No, I am not heading back to Africa the ancestral mother land. I am talking about getting settled. I have never been a settle down kinda girl. Almost everywhere I have been in my life has been a stop on my next adventure.

Alabama has been sorta hiccup. Recently, everyone has been commenting on how I don't wanna live here or there and I just nod and uhhuh. I was talking to my sister how someone was lamenting on how they knew I didn't want to live in Atlanta.
She quickly replied, "You didn't ever want to live in Alabama did you?"

I was taken aback. she was right. I never did want to live in Alabama. In fact, i cried the first time I ever came here, because I thought it was so terrible. I would spend the next five years trying to move. Something always stood in our way. Now, I have settled down. some call this a routine, others a rut. I like to call it roots. Either way, I felt panicked and fear stricken by moving.

This isn't me. I am not a good Southern Lady. I am loud, and tacky and always say the wrong thing. I hate monogramming, jon-jon's, ginormous girl hair bow's, bleach blond hair, and giving your kids last names for first names. I don't belong. However, I have grown to love it here, despite all the odd occurrences, and was even thinking about monogramming my bathroom towels. BTW, there is no way I am going to get one of those back windshield monograms- Ever.

Cory and I use to have a saying "It isn't where you are it is who you are." I wanna be that girl again. That free spirit. My Mom always said that the dolly Parton song "Wildflowers" reminded her of me. I need to remember that part of me that has gotten swallowed by suburbia.

Thursday, September 17, 2009

Hypocrite Seis

When, I was about 11 or 12 my Mom took me on one of my most favorite childhood vacations to Nags Head, NC and the Great Smokey Mountains. It was great because my Dad wasn't there, and my mom let us eat chocolate chip pancakes for breakfast.

There were downsides to the vacation. For instance, a seagull pooped in my hair on a ferry to an outer bank island. This was the eighties friends, and I had big poofy hair. Plus, this was an uninhabited island which meant I had to suck up the poop and try to get it out with a towel and be happy with the crust that was much stiffer than the aquanet I was using. Not a great moment for a tween. The tide was so fierce we could hardly swim in the ocean, and my brothers whined all the way up the sand dune at Kitty hawk. BTW, if you throw a tantrum or cry on any vacation or holidayin my family, my mom made sure to take pictures of you. This just made you more pissed off and want to cry more.

As an adult, I berated my Mom about this vacations. Why would she let us feed marshmallows to caged black bears in cages? She had our pictures taken with Cherokee Indians in full head dresses outside of staged tee pees (fyi- the Cherokee neither wore these costumes or lived in tee pees until tourism). Wasn't she politically correct? Wasn't she worried about scarring us?

Nah, it was fun for us, and that is all she cared about. She did later admit feeling sorry for the black bears, but she said that was my brothers favorite part. Now, I realize how hard of a vacation that must have been for her to take, with three kids by herself. How thankful I am to have those memories. I too, have started the cliche tourist trend with my kids. I let them stop by a petting zoo in Gadsden that was in a Food Lion parking Lot on our way to Nocculula Falls (really Peta should have been there it was horrendous and Chato and I felt dirty when we left). We went to the underground lake tour in Tennessee (might as well set that 50 dollars on fire), and this year will venture to the dreaded Alabama State Fair. I am sure the people watching will be great, and the kids will love it, but I might be emotionally scarred afterward. But that my friend is what a Mother does.

Monday, September 14, 2009

Never say Never...

So, When i got pregnant we had a lot of choices to make. At first, we planned to get a part time nanny so that I could keep my job. Then I found out I was having twins. I was going to quit my job. Then Chato (hubby's south American nickname) decided to take a new position that did not require travel, and I would go to work part time at night. We said we would never have jobs that required us to be separated as a fmaily. It worked great...until he got laid off.

Now, he has been offered a job with so many contingencies, I don't know how to plan. He has six months of training. Half of which is in Connecticut. In a better economy, we would turn this job down. However, this has been the only offer near his previous salary, and we won't have to sell our house. So now we have a lot of those same choices facing us. Do i keep my job? Do we get a nanny? Things are changing my friend. Let us hope they are or the better.

The circumstances of the world are so variable that an irrevocable purpose or opinion is almost synonymous with a foolish one. ~William H. Seward

Sunday, September 13, 2009

She is soo fake...

You know those people who seem to have the need to profess ad nauseum how great they are and how their life and kids are absolutely perfect (ahem not this blog.. I would never be one of those people;). It usually comes off as fake and insincere, especially when coupled with other details. Anyway, I was thinking maybe those people are practicing my favorite enlightened principle - Fake it till you Make it.

I mean isn't it better to act happy even if it is fake, then to bitch and complain and be miserable all the time. This isn't to mean that Seis, never has a bad day. Friday I had to lend my BIL a 1000$ to get out of jail. Which I am quite sure, was one of the worst decisions I have ever made. However, I had to look on the bright side. So I got gussied up, and went to Bunco and told everyone that I at least did the right thing. In theory, if it was Felix and Oscar, I would want their wife to lend the money. BlueMomma was nice and didn't call me an idiot, and I had too much to drink. After a couple of hours of drinking and faking it, I really did feel better.

So, next time you think that lady who talks about how great her marriage is, or how her kids are secret rocket scientists, and how all her friends are the coolest is full of shit.. just remember... she probably is, but maybe it is her way of dealing. Plus, I much rather hear how great some one's life is than how shitty it is.

“If you haven't got it. Fake it! Too short? Wear big high heels, but do practice walking!” - Victoria Beckham

Thursday, September 10, 2009

Thoughts for Thursday

Maybe my Happiness Bandwagon isn't full of Shit...

So, not only is the kool-aid yummy, but happiness really is contagious. The British Medical Journal published a 20 year study on happiness. Basically, it says that happy people are surrounded by happy people. That the happiest people are at the center of their social network, and people radiate out from them. I find this to be true of my life. Kimtastic is definately a happy hub for alot of people I know. So, from now on I am going to try and spread happiness, one friend at a time. Watch out Seis is coming for you... and I am riding a unicorn pulling a wagon full of rainbows.
I mean doesn't that guy look like he is spreading happiness. Unicorns are the answer my friend.

Tuesday, September 8, 2009

Happiness is ... Friendship

When I was a little girl, I had this Peanuts book that was called Happiness is... On every page was a simple statement of what happiness is. It is part of a the Charles Schulz Happiness Treasury. If ever I am in the mood to blow money again, perhaps I will purchase it on Ebay. This image is it's most popular pop icon:

When i was a girl, I loved to read the books over and over again. There was a Love book, a Happiness book, a Christmas book and a Friends book. I thought about it today and wondered what I might write as an adult.

  • Friendship is knowing that someone "gets you" and appreciates your peculiarities.
  • Friendship is telling the truth even when it isn't what they want to hear.
  • Friendship is not holding it against the person who told you their honest opinion.
  • Friendship is not being judged for your mistakes, but loved through them.
  • Friendship is offering your hand out to help the other person, even if your other hand is full.

Thanks to all my FRIENDS you truly make me Happy.

“Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.” - Dr. Seuss